O pen up…

Maybe I just killed it or never cared to fill it
Happiness has been lost has become a thing of the past
Who is to blame for this ultimate shame
who cut the smiles off my cheerful face
What is joy but an ingenious ploy
Of the stupid mind deaf and blind
Smiles were all false fulfilment was a farce
unable to stand not able to withstand
the wrongs of the world never ever bold
in the face of adversity searching for pity
pity is what I deserve for the wounds I preserve
And the hatred I nurture that tears me like a vulture

Empty am I, as empty as I was ever meant to be
the end is the same but the script could’ve been different
Empty are lives and so are the hearty smiles
that can fill the void an’ make sure you enjoyed
every day every hour an’ every moment of your life
Savour the moment savour your life
savour the beauty of the endless strife

I gotta crush on the female in the show
on the TV, I wish even I can go
in the box an’ tell her my heart
an’ lock her lips and stretch ‘em apart
she’s gonna kill me, the TV guys will pull me
they’ll put me on a bed an’ beat me to death
but I ain’t gonna lose the sight of my love
I’ll keep starin’ as I’m doin’ it now
when she comes on TV an’ does a dance
I know she ain’t seein’ me but she does give a glance
I wanna lick her body naked and touch her everywhere
if I ain’t gonna make it I’ll strip her body bare
in my imagination, that is my destination
with no rules I’m gonna live my fascination
she’s mine I’m hers, we’re gonna do it all the time
the dream is mine, you can’t stop me from my beautiful rhyme

Below is a song in the tune of Eminem’s ‘Cleanin’ out my Closet’, inspired by the lyrics of the same song, telling the rat story of me and my roomie – Kalyan Arety (Arety pronounced as R A T)… Read them while listening to the song. The original lyrics are at the link http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/cleaninoutmycloset.html

Have you ever seen a rat that made hell of a kitchen,
I have, I’ve seen it shit all over my den,
wicked smiles of the stupid rats, fill up my dreams,
sick is the mind of the motherfuckin’ mother rat behind,
all this commotion, emotions run deep as ocean’s explodin’,
plastics eaten and beaten, lids blown off an’ shit rollin’ in pieces,
not leavin’ nothin’ I can eat, runnin’ over my bed,
lickin’ my ass in the morning, an’ eatin’ poop in the evening,
leavin’ me with a taste as sour as vinegar in my mouth,
see they make me walk on shit but I will figure them out,
look at me now, I put a cake on the stove,
c’mon momma, i’m gonna make you look so ridiculous now

I’m sorry momma, I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m cleanin’ out my closet, {one more time},
I said i’m sorry momma, I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m cleanin’ out my closet…

I got some skeletons in my closet and I don’t know if no one knows it
so before they throw me inside my coffin and close it, i’m gonna expose it
I’ll take you back to November, before I ever dreamt of bein’ a rat killer,
I was a novice, maybe I just killed a couple of bugs,
my ratty roomie must have had a thing with the mother rat,
cause she lived, and gave life to multiple baby rats,
my ratty roomie admits it, he says he might have done it
I look at a rat, and then another tiny rat,
rats are all that I lived with, day in an’ day out,
ratty roomie buys a cake, that can kill the fuckin’ mice
I admit I killed ‘em but i’m only human,
but i’m man enough to face them today,
what I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb,
but the smartest shit I did was cut the cake into pieces,
cause they killed ‘em, shit I killed each of the rats
but the mother of all, has escaped the bait
i’d like to welcome y’all to another R.A.T. show

I’m sorry momma, I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m cleanin’ out my closet, {one more time},
I said i’m sorry momma, I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m cleanin’ out my closet…

Lying on the sand, looking at the skies
the waves of the ocean tickling my thighs

crescent moon lying in the middle of the stars
descending to kiss me in the late night hours

the calm of the night, the kiss of the breeze
the dance of the stems of the mahogany trees

the beauty on earth and the wonders above
fill my heart to the brim with love

Raindrops raindrops falling from the heavens
pearls of the blue sky splashing on the ovens

Flirting with the flowers, dirtying the towers
pouring on the covers, engaging the lovers

the showers of the heaven hit the tins of the town
the winds of the ocean broke the silence of the noon

Life taught me lessons
when I least wanted them
the more I sought the riches
the poorer I became

Never was I loved
by the angels of my past
to the demons had I bowed
to get the pride lost

Curt was the voice
the intent was to hurt
my heart stupid coward
had to deal with the dirt

the tears dried on my cheeks
the feelings emptied out
my fears reached their peaks
I was totally worn out

What ensued was peace
and a lot of earthly warmth
as I was brought to my knees
my mind lost its charms

Freed was my soul
from the vanities it owned
greed was the sinner
that got itself stoned

I was walking down the road
in a strange mood, bored
as cars honked ‘Pom pom’
I followed no norm

I was irking everyone
blocking every turn
I laughed my heart out
I heeded no shout

I was tickling my inside
not letting a happy ride
I made them stand by
and jus killed their joy

I jus like to have fun
you seem to be the wrong one
honking shouting crying
I’ll be this till I am dying… ha ha ha….

Open up, tell me the truths
tell me the lies you lied
tell me the life you lived
I wanna see, I wanna hear
I wanna feel the feelings you feel
that you do not reveal
Tell me the moments that made you live
live life to the fullest measure
to the measure unmeasurable
reveal thyself, reveal thy heart
reveal the heart inside thy heart
tear open thy wounds
wounds that kept you wound
that never let you open
that never let you sleep
let them rest, speak up

Open up the windows
the windows that have bound you
the windows tight that make you stink within
open them, let the fresh air in
it won’t choke you, it won’t kill you
it will heal you and it will fill you
unlock yourself, unwind yourself
a hearty smile is what you need
do not hold tight
to the dearest of your secrets
uncover them, reveal them
and celebrate the happiness the joy
of living naked

They hit me, they kicked me
they stripped me, they humiliated me
the rage inside me was seething
as I kept breathing
the anger, the suppressed repressed emotion
aiming to burn them to ashes
it burnt my feelings
my feelings of affection and love
to my fellow beings
the respect I show
the joy I experience
when I feel at home
with people
kith and kin
my brethren
was burning
hatred crept in
it throve on the fire
burnt them-the feelings I attach to them
in me, within me
it burnt my insides
it burnt me
in the past I lived
hating them-the feelings I attach to them
as moments passed
when I realised
I realised my love for them
despite their cruelty
the innocent cruelty
the babies in them
that hit me, kicked me
stripped me
the babies that found joy
in the silliness of it all
the baby in me
that burnt them-the feelings I attach to them
within me
the feelings so sacred, so divine
the memory of the feelings remained
the feelings remained
deep within my soul
feelings that say
I love them the innocent ones

Am I the body
the hands and limbs
moving randomly
Am I the act of a playwright
Am I the script
that is neatly woven with the
thread of emotions
by the needle of memories
Am I a part of the play
the play that maketh life
Am I the audience
the eye
that sees that hears
that experiences fully
every twist and turn of the play
Am I the spark behind the eye
that glows when it meets the eye
Am I the mirror
nature has created for itself
to reveal itself
to itself
Am I the mindless explorer
exploring himself
Am I the thoughts that maketh the mind
the mind of the explorer
Am I the abstract
the answer to all the questions
Am I the question itself
the question that seeks an answer
but needs no answer
that knows but shies
that knows what it doesn’t know
Am I the mystery that hides it all
and smiles in ecstasy
Am I the love
the love that smiles
the love that hides
from the explorer
the innocent one
who reserves his smiles
in search of the truth
and travels miles
as the truth smiles