O pen up…

I was walking down the road
in a strange mood, bored
as cars honked ‘Pom pom’
I followed no norm

I was irking everyone
blocking every turn
I laughed my heart out
I heeded no shout

I was tickling my inside
not letting a happy ride
I made them stand by
and jus killed their joy

I jus like to have fun
you seem to be the wrong one
honking shouting crying
I’ll be this till I am dying… ha ha ha….

I cry every day over my fate
that has not given me
the fame of the winner
the money of the sinner
the respect a legend claims
the attention a champion gets

There were moments in my life
when they did touch me
as I tried to grab them
they escaped from my grip
like thin air
those moments still remain
in my memory

Can I get back there?
Do I need to? Has
my purpose changed?
Have I changed?
GOD gives me no answers
the questions prick my conscience
that delves on the guilt
built over the remains
of the confusion
over the minutes wasted

HE shows me the sufferings
of the world and tells me
from inside -
“They are my children too,
they too deserve the bread you eat
they too need the clothes”
As the words prick my conscience
and I suffer from guilt
built over my helplessness
the legs that can move
the hands that can touch
the eyes that can shed tears
are bound by the jealousy
the peer pressure that pushes me
to mount the everest never reached
and wave to the crowd
as the brethren who needed my attention
bury deep in misery

Blessed are those
who found a way out
out of the rat race
the stinking stupid despicable hunt
to build castles
over the remains of the needy

I lost my love for the air
the air that lets me live
I pollute it
and throw the blame
on to the government
that runs politics politically
onto the corporate
that runs its business
what am I doing?
dying a martyr’s death?
or living a coward’s life?
where lies the solution?
At the policy level?
Or at the grass roots level?

the solution lies with us
with each one of us
live we should our ideals
at least a few of them
and spread the word
to those who listen
world is not dead
until there is love
and care and compassion
until there are people
who die to let others live
people who spread cheer
who spread the message
that believes in the belief
that life lies beyond the lies we live

Never blind I was in my heart
never was I crippled in my thought

My eyes can’t see, my heart sure can
feel the nature and its beauty hidden

Sing I can with my heart divine
the song written by my purest mind

Pure you should be deep within
live not blind with your eyes open

He said to the Guru ‘
I confess I sinned
I lied to the world
I misbehaved with children
I raped females
I killed people
I ate the flesh
I sought pleasures despicable
I deserve to be punished
to be cut to pieces
by the sword of God
I deserve to be humiliated
beaten out of breath
stoned till death
Hey Guru! The disciple of God
Bestow upon my head thy sacred foot
and crush me beneath the sand
send me to the hell I deserve’

The Guru spoke ‘I bow to thee
pure soul is thine
that accepts with utter humility
the sins it committed
the material life it lived
the meaningless material life it has given up
the soul that has ascended
the highest summit surmountable
that has placed itself to sacrifice
in repentance of the sins committed
past is the life lived
All I can do is bow in front of thee
forgive I can’t the divine present in you
blessed is thy soul transcended’

All my life I asked myself

what is the purpose of life

should I have a goal to attain

to reach the unreachable summit

to save the planet from forces evil

to spread His message among people

why should I live?

to rearrange the pieces on the planet

and build a palace of dreams?

to heal people? to serve them

to give them a helping hand in the hour of need?

Is this why I am born?

All these create commotion in me

they agitate me they make me want to shout

they make me want to cry out loud

I wish to sit in silence and help myself

I wish to help myself fight out the commotion

the agitation – the wish to cry out loud

I wish to sit in peace under the tree

of enlightenment and relax to prepare myself

for another war that needs to be waged

the war is what is the purpose of life

that is what the world makes me think

as I relax and meditate, I give up thoughts

I give up desire – the commotion

the agitation caused by attachment

to that which never belonged to me

I gave up the purpose that never was one

I sat in silence under the bodhi vriksha

seeking in silence, in deep contemplation

the true purpose that made life meaningful

as I searched for the meaning of the meaning

enlightenment dawned upon me

the path is the destiny

the silence the end of the war

was never the means to wage the war

the war you fight to attain peace

should die the suffering should end

the deepest of your self belongs to none

you are not the shallow you

that sees with eyes, lusts for the skin

that finds happiness in dollars

the depth is deeper

yet to be explored, to be explored by you

the ocean of joy is there for you to swim

the contentment in sacrifice

the freedom in commitment

are all yours – the qualities divine

Silence so gross
violence in the eyes
breath sharp biting
thoughts ignited
feelings suppressed
yet silently expressed
expressed the best
as air filled the chest
lips closed n dry
nose sharp n pointed
forehead scarred
ears fuming red hot
hands trembling
ready to kill
with authority
he sucks in air
looks up with rage
tongue dances
and with a striking force
lashes the whip
life ends

Open up, tell me the truths
tell me the lies you lied
tell me the life you lived
I wanna see, I wanna hear
I wanna feel the feelings you feel
that you do not reveal
Tell me the moments that made you live
live life to the fullest measure
to the measure unmeasurable
reveal thyself, reveal thy heart
reveal the heart inside thy heart
tear open thy wounds
wounds that kept you wound
that never let you open
that never let you sleep
let them rest, speak up

Open up the windows
the windows that have bound you
the windows tight that make you stink within
open them, let the fresh air in
it won’t choke you, it won’t kill you
it will heal you and it will fill you
unlock yourself, unwind yourself
a hearty smile is what you need
do not hold tight
to the dearest of your secrets
uncover them, reveal them
and celebrate the happiness the joy
of living naked

There is no end to love
there is no beginning
when did your Mom start loving you
when will she stop
what ends is not love
what starts is not love
love is eternal
You always had love
You live in love, you die in love
What you call love is just a game
A game of infatuation
A game of egoes
Love is what you are
Love is your very nature

They hit me, they kicked me
they stripped me, they humiliated me
the rage inside me was seething
as I kept breathing
the anger, the suppressed repressed emotion
aiming to burn them to ashes
it burnt my feelings
my feelings of affection and love
to my fellow beings
the respect I show
the joy I experience
when I feel at home
with people
kith and kin
my brethren
was burning
hatred crept in
it throve on the fire
burnt them-the feelings I attach to them
in me, within me
it burnt my insides
it burnt me
in the past I lived
hating them-the feelings I attach to them
as moments passed
when I realised
I realised my love for them
despite their cruelty
the innocent cruelty
the babies in them
that hit me, kicked me
stripped me
the babies that found joy
in the silliness of it all
the baby in me
that burnt them-the feelings I attach to them
within me
the feelings so sacred, so divine
the memory of the feelings remained
the feelings remained
deep within my soul
feelings that say
I love them the innocent ones